A beautiful letdown.

I've never come to regret the times I've actually failed my self, which lead me to where I am right now, the decisions I've made, no, never; it's just that, I've never thought it would be like this, that it would actually end up like this.

I'm quite depressed at the moment. Too depressed that I've conquered it. My friends, I love them so much that I want to kill them, hahahaha. I'll never forget them. Maybe I've just been careless, too confident and too LOUD. :D

I can't blame anyone; not in the way some of my friends think. I can't blame anyone but myself. I was stupid; I was all the time stupid. Reckless. It feels like it doesn't have to be this way but I'm so upset about it.

So to cut the commotions short, I'm not an honor student anymore. Got an 84 (1st Qtr. TLE) and an 82 (2nd Qtr. TLE). Sheesh. I guess it's fair enough. My heart says, "Ok, its fine." but my mind argues and says, "No, you deserve to be IN!" Get the logic of my situation? I just can't get over the fact that I've disappointed my mother, and father, I guess it's not my season; well, it is, but not for the better side.

Strained. I always knew it could happened, I just never thought it WOULD actually happen. Hahahaha. Like I said earlier, I didn't thought it would end up like this. I never really anticipated for this to happen - I'm such a loser! :D

Well, anyway, I can't say I've lost it. I still have my life to live. Never get tired of it, because you can always lose it anytime. It could hurt so bad you would'nt have a reason to believe in anymore.

As soon as I got home, I logged on the computer and sent my bestfriend a message (she's in the States right now.) saying:

Angeli
Posted 03/23/2009 9:26 pm

"hey.. I'm not an honor student anymore. :)
just wanted you to know.. i guess i'm feeling what you felt exactly when we were in grade six.

and i actually cried over it; it hurts.. i guess i've expected too much. it's weird, a bit frustrating really - i can't believe i'm OUT; goodbye dream team hahaha, i love you..

and miss you; wish you were here to comfort me.. and bebi too; it could've been NICER to have you here, can't say how much I miss you now - it's really killing me, hahaha, i want to talk to you about this. :)

i so really want to talk to you - i feel like crying again (but you know i can't cry in public places! hahahaha, i just feel like i'm going to *rawr*) i'm so upset.

i love you..
and miss you.

i want to hug you right now. ^_________^
laab you so much."

So she gave me a reply saying:

Danika
Posted 03/24/2009 8:54 am

"hey :)

aRe yOu okay?

yeah i wiSh i wAs tHere tO coMfOrt yOu...

aNyways, you'll GET OVER IT soOner or later!

i kNow hOw yOu feeL T_T

jUst mOve oN aNd jUst faCe the fUture :)

tHere a LoT mOre 2 cOme for yOu aNd fOr us..

sOooo yeah...i miSsssssssss yOuuuuu tOooooO!

aNd i el-oh-vee-ee sOooo mUcho!

i wiSh marTney ishhh taKing caRe of yOu...

depEnd oN hiM :D

aja aja fiGhtiNg!

prOmise me yOu wOn't cRy aNymOre...?!

*pinky promise*

i love u bestttiieee"

I actually thought last night that I'd never get over this, but as time passes, God gives this inner healing in you, I'd never lost a place, I'd never received a failing grade, nor did I received a line of seven; it's just that standards are higher now, and that 82, can never help me. I can say I've understood everything now; that dark silhouette never stays for too long; just a while, (Q: how long is a while? A: I don't know ask Edward Cullen! Hahaha.) to be really serious about how I feel right now, ask Jeremiah 29:11, for God has set plans for me, plans to prosper and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. ;) So it doesn't hurt anymore.

I thank sir Reggie for making me sort ready for this; though that plan didn't really work out so much. It did help, a little, but you know, hahaha, I don't know, I'm just over it. ;)

I thank Lempot, Patricia so much for comforting me; and for not leaving me that day hahaha; for JunJun, na ipinag-lalaban talaga ang karapatan ko; kay Percival na super-papa talaga, ideal guy, for Awii, sa place niyo parang nawala lahat ng kalungkutan ko, you're a really sweet guy; At kay Mami Berna, kay Ma'am Tess, Ma'am Millon, Ma'am Jelly -- you've all been nice to me, ay si Titser Mhel pa pala, harhar, at Titser Anne, basta lahat na nga lang, amp, hahaha, ang dami niyo kasi e. I love you Jemma, Bebs -- K, lahat as in lahat, James, Paul, and everyone else na naging comfort people ko kahapon, rawr. Sa mga first year na nag-comfort sa'kin kanina, "Ate Angel, okay lang yan." at kay Kainah syempre. WAHAHA. THANK YOU. I LAB YOU.

At kila Papa at Mama ko na tanggap itong let down na'to. THANK YOU.

Bottom Line: Friends, are really can't live withouts.

Created yesterday, finished today.

Reasons to Hope When You're Hurting.

Sometimes when we're really hurt, where do we run to? We get hopeless, thinking NO ONE UNDERSTANDS, NO ONE CARES, NO ONE LOVES YOU...

1. God is truly in control. If God is God, then nothing happens apart from His knowledge and permission. While it is difficult to imagine why God allows some painful things to happen, His character, revealed in the Bible and through the testing of generations, leads us to the conclusion that He is willing and able to sustain you during the worst of times. “We were crushed and completely overwhelmed, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we learned not to rely on ourselves, but on god who can raise the dead. 2 Corinthians 1:8,9

2. There is an eternal life to come. “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the Glory He will give us later.” Romans 8:18 “He will keep you strong right up to the end, and He will keep you free from all blame on the great day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns.” 1 Corinthians 1:8

3. The story isn’t finished yet. Time after time, the Bible records hopeless situations that ultimately ended in victory. Think of Job’s sickness, Joseph’s betrayal by his brothers, David’s adultery and the many who were healed in mind, body and spirit. “But Joseph told them, ‘Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, to judge and punish you? As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people.’” Genesis 50:19,20

4. God has not given up on you! Don’t give up on him. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

5. There is likely purpose in your pain. Ask God to reveal His purpose in allowing this difficulty in your life. That’s a legitimate question to ask. Often, the answer comes in the process of dealing with your circumstance. Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything. James 1:2-4

6. You are loved! Even the most unlovable person in the world is actually loved so much by God, that He let His Son die a terrible death to restore their relationship. God does love you! He sees your pain and weeps with you. “He has sent Me to comfort the brokenhearted and to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent Me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lords’ favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, He will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory. Isaiah 61:1-3

7. Your prayers are heard. You parents - if your children ask you for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him? Matt. 7:9,10

8. You are not facing this alone. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never forsake you.” That is why we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Hebrews 13:5,6

9. Others have made it through - you can too. Try to connect with others who have gone through similar situations. You will find hope, strength and encouragement. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back- to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple- braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

10. Reach out to someone else who’s struggling. Place your focus on someone else and invest your life in him or her. You may discover that your peace of mind is found in being a source of hope for another. All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:3,4

God is a wonderful God. He listens, he cares, he loves, he understands and nothing can separate us from him. God has a purpose for your life, your existence here on earth is not an accident. He wants you. He likes to win you back. The question is... will you come back to him?

Let us do all things for the greater glory of God! ;)

Source:
Ate Cecille; Victory Christian Fellowship Friendster Forum
http://www.friendster.com/group-discussion/index.php?t=msg&th=2766839&start=0&

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV)

This life isn't about you, or is it about me. This isn't about us. It's about Jesus.
It's all about HIM.

PUP and Retreat

January 23, 2009 - 5.30am - 10.30am @ PUP

This post was created today, but the words refer to the time I went to the locations.

So yesterday (Jan 22) we went to PUP to get my permit. Unfortunately I got rejected because I didn't had a seal on my form, it was my first time to go there, with Martney, I was so, let me say it this way, naasar, hahaha. "Sayang pamasahe," I say to my self walking home from the main building "nakakaasar talaga! Hahahaha, okay lang atleast naka-punta na'ko at alam ko na rin kung pa'no! Hahahaha". Nakakahiya tuloy kay MatMat. Hmp! :))

Today (Jan 23). My brother accompanied me to the campus, he was sort of my tour guide, he was the university's alumni back in 2001, I think? PUP is a state university, sabi nga ni ate Livi nung retreat, hindi ibig sabihin kapag mura panget na, at hindi rin ibig sabihin mahal maganda na ang form ng education, she's from UP by the way, Philosophy major and studying law at the moment, well that was -- cool. ;)

I believe her, it doesn't necessarily mean na kapag mura e wala nang kwenta. :) Money is something but it's not everything, sabi ni Ptr. Jonathan. Saan ka nakakita ng public university na may Olympic size pool at largest library in the whole Southeast Asia/Asia (correct me if I'm wrong, 'yun kasi ang sabi ng aking kuya ^^,). Regardless if it's known as the home of the student activist, it still depends on the students if they would join the groups.

We went to the Admission's Office, it was super haba ng pila! It wasn't like that yesterday, maybe because we went there afternoon na. So, puro so, yeah, hahahaha. Ayun. My brother toured me all over the campus - from his old class room from east wing to the north wing - explaining every feature. Bwahahaha. It was a nice experience - he was a nice tour guide.

We stopped by at Cubao to eat, and then he left me - I had to go home early 'cause I was running for my retreat. He had to go to Gilmore for PC stuff.

January 23, 2009 - 12.30pm - 3.00am @ WCC Campus - Luntiang Paraiso, Giginto-Bulacan

As usual I had to come late, it's a bit sad 'cause being late is growing in me. :( Not so late though, I arrived 15 minutes early in time to board the bus. But eventually I had to go to Circle-T to by necessary stuff - for some important purposes.

In the bus
It was sooo hot. Ivan kept on complaining about the heat, "Ito na ba 'yung 1.6k?", and so did Martney, "1.6k na ba 'to?" and so I tried to make them shut their mouth - "Hoy, 'wag ganun." But they ignored me. People. When will they ever learn to be mature enough? :P

We stopped at a gasoline station sa NLEX - seeing Starbucks you can hear my classmates cheering for it. "Wow, bili tayo dali," mumured someone "sir, pwede po bang bumaba?", "Hindi" sir Panizal replied. "300 lang pera ko, Starbucks pa? Ayos." Roel added. "Ang tagal naman, magkano ba 'yung pinakarga Angel?" Ivan asked, "2000 ata, oo, 2000 nga." I said.

The trip
We opened the windows by the way, we can't take the heat anymore. It was weird why we had to take that bus. :P Hahahaha. I was listening to Can I Have This Dance over and over again, LSS, gosh, it made me fall for HSM again. ;) The heart of a kid and the mind of an adult: that's me; maybe that's why I enjoy being a teenager so much, I'm in between. High school, I will surely miss you.

Knowing how this trip was going to end - there was only one thing in my mind, we'll all be leaving the school soon - much sooner, a month left to go and it's goodbye high school and hello to co-llege? Hahaha. I can't still accept that I'm so old, I'm not supposed to be like this am I? I'm supposed to be happy, yey! I'm leaving WCC at last, but I'll surely miss the people who made my life meaningful there, ten years there, gosh, that's the longest stay I've ever made. And every year the people you meet added that every percent of memory in your life.
The arrival
Bulacan is a very beautiful place. I remember four years ago, Bulacan was our destination in our field trip, Pulilan - Butterfly Heaven, and I wonder if 8 Waves belong to that part of Bulacan. ;) Graduating years; these are the days, we might as well make good use of it - the time is very fragile - use it for important things. ;) Happy memories.

Ang habang intro nun for this paragraph - so we arrived in a very big house - it's a resort named Luntiang Paraiso situated at Giginto, Bulacan. It was pink, cute; and the rooms were air-conditioned, with Cable-TV and a refrigerator (except that the ref was empty. O.o LOL). Double-deck beds, and a bathroom - of course it is a hotel so they provide slippers, towels, toothbrush, shampoo, toothpaste and that Bioderm soap, the smell, I can't get over with :))

Our room was green/pink I completely forgot. Oh yeah, the entrance was full of baging like a jungle, hahaha, it had three pools, one medium size - where most of us swam; a big one, super lalim - the boys enjoyed a lot, it was sooo deep; and a kiddie pool - no one swam in it 'cause everybody thought it was dirty! Hahahaha. Oh yeah, we had cute name tags - sort of reminded me of our Get Connected 2007! Recollection at WCC-QC. Ma'am Malou, your preaching that time was awesome. I will never forget you! :D And you're so pretty! ^.~

Introduction: Identity (Conference Room)
Our theme for this year was DOTA: Developing Our Traits and Assets, lead by Ptr. Al Termulo. I was moved by his message, though now I sort of forgot what actually his points were. Sorry. But I'll get some info on the things he pointed out. :P I wasn't paying attention in writing that time. I was just listening. ;)

We watched "Father's Love Letter", if you don't know this yet click here. If the link doesn't work try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKmdIdQg3Ks (well of course this wasn't the version the leader's used, they had one made by them.)

But before that, we had a relay game. Human BING-O, sort of, we had to get every boxed signed by someone who'd do the action, it was fun. Martney, Rhonette and Katrina won. Game-ish people really. They don't really like to lose. So ni-career nila yung event na 'yun. Hahahaha. ;P

Molding of Character - Ptr. Al Termulo
Now this was the time I got to my senses - we discussed our responses to the following what was the way we do and the righteous way:

Elaborating Luke 5:1-11
We turned to 3 points:

The Adversity Test
How do you respond to failure?

The Authority Test
How do you respond to authority?

The Affluence Test
How do you respond to success?

I should've written the POWER points, but I guess I didn't do it. Ahahahaha. ;P

We didn't got our free time, 'cause we had took over-time. :) But it was good, kabitin nga lang. So we ate dinner, yummy naman yung food. After that the leaders declared that we have our free time kasi we finished our dinner early. Some stayed I think for Prayers and Counseling -- the leaders and teachers stayed at the Conference Room while we start dressing up for the swimming. Everyone was so excited about swimming, guys did the stunts (weird stunts and considering the malicious stunts), we played until 12.00 in the morning. Some had the sing-along; it was a very enjoying moment for all of us -- we actually wanted to stay longer but we were supposed to turn the lights of at exactly 12.00am.

But we are still the hard-headed batch of fourth year - ever - I think. Some of us stayed as late as 6.30am and that was supposed to be our call-time for waking up. Talk about staying up late - early. Hahahaha.

I was one of those - freaks. Honestly I just slept for two-hours. At 1.00am Rhonette and I can't sleep so we wander up and down the stairs, down at the Conference Room for food - coffee, hot choco - Jjamphong! Hahahaha. Played the guitar. Obviously I can't get over it - time was so fast and the next time I'll be making an entry I'll be talking about our graduation - time. Gosh, it's so fast like it's playing in fast-forward. :P

I can't sleep - Aleli was bothered, I thought she was so bored and just wanted to get the right position in sleeping but she talked to me - prayed for me. This was the time the whole loving rebuke happened. I sort of wished Renalyn was there, honestly she's in a need of that - prayers. Rhonette, Aleli and I slept in Room 1 - together with the female leaders. It was cute 'cause Ma'am Genie chose us to be their room mates - sweet! ^_____^

So after that Aleli didn't really sleep yet, she ate her junkfoods, "Masama sa katawan 'yan!" I said whispering, "Oo nga! Bigay mo na lang dito yan." Rhonette said while talking with her suitor over the phone. Oh yeah, Ivan paid us a visit - weird. So Ma'am Genie had to shut him up and shun him out - Hahaha. "Ivan, you're not supposed to be here." she said, and so Rhonette and I laughed by that time Aleli was asleep. It was weird 'cause we were still talking then a little while she's fast asleep. Martney entered our room often, asking me to come out - and so I did. Around two o'clock we were still at their room, Matthew, Michael, Sir Panizal were all crazed on playing their PSPs I'm not even sure that was allowed. Sir Jem was asleep, soundly. Alfonso and Bay were outside - Roel was asleep with Richard in the other room. James and MC were ghost hunting like whatever they didn't saw anything - just want to kill themselves with weird thoughts. I even saw them trying to open doors one-by-one on our corridor. Weird really. Then a little later shouts were heard coming from Kaye's room and the sound of MC and James ridiculous scary minggles.

It was tiring staying up so late around 4.30, I had fallen asleep for about 45 minutes - so Martney called me out to the lobby - I said I couldn't take it anymore, I got the food from the ref and gave it to him, so I blame my self for causing him the headache the morning after - he was so up so late because of the chocolate content on the chips I gave him. :P

Around 5.30am I woke up expecting that he would still be awake - though it was forbidden to go up there - not so forbidden - but girls weren't supposed to be at the boys' lounge. To my surprise he was still asleep, he was so peaceful -- I tried to take off his slippers, but he hesitated and almost kicked me. They were all asleep except Mark "Bay", he was the one to open the doors - I think he didn't sleep.

So I got downstairs, little by little my classmates were waking up - Sir Reggie was awake, so we took pictures of our classmates while they were sleeping, it was fun! Hahahaha. And so the wake up time passed around 7.00am some dressed up for swimming -- boys were early swimming -- but we still had our last session at 9.00am so they had to like umahon kaagad. Hahahaha. ;)

Like Bella or Edward -- calculating that time -- the night swimming with my classmates, is one of the best nights of my life. And I'll cherish that as long as I live.

At breakfast Percival mentioned that, "Hindi na mauulit 'to, I mean, itong magkakasama tayo." I believe him, "Once in a lifetime." he added, "Oo nga e, college na tayo next year." I said, it's true, that was our last gathering together, not like that's going to happen again - might as well make the best out of it right?

The teachers gathered. The leaders too. And some visitors came to give us another session, our " Career Orientation", Ate Livi and Kuya Ice. ;) I'll never forget them, just like Ma'am Malou from two years ago. She was a good speaker. It's a good thing that WCC-QC hire Christian employees, siguro nagkakataon lang, pero I think sa Human Relations Office hila dun, a lot are Christians. ^.~

So the session ended. Six were awarded -- The most behaved: Percival and Jun Jun; the most cooperative: Martney and I ^_______^; The most polite: Aleli; From preventing on being biased the leaders awarded the cleanliness award to the boys' room; Gab, MC, James and Jun Jun with Sir William. ;)

So that was it -- we took our baths got to our bus and went home. HOME BOUND. ;)

That was the little story of our retreat, these are just partial of what happened, but we'll forever treasure that event in our memories and hearts.

Good luck sa Prom, CAT Graduation and Graduation! Aja Fourth Year Matthew!

Bottom Line: We're still all in this together. Somehow. Hahahaha.

Christianity and Twilight

What Shines in Twilight?
Looking at four key ideas of the vampire saga that stand out for Christ followers.
Web exclusive by Stacey Lingle

It's your typical romance. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Obstacles keep them apart. They overcome the obstacles. Happily ever after.
What Shines in Twilight?

Except for the vampires. And werewolves.

OK, so maybe the Twilight saga isn't so typical after all. Especially considering the four-book saga has become one of the hottest pop culture phenomena since Harry Potter, prompting midnight release parties and vampire proms. Typical teen romances don't cause that type of response. There's something decidedly different about Twilight.

I picked up the first book out of curiosity, mostly to see what my friends were raving about. And, to be honest, I'm always looking for a good story.

If you haven't read it, Twilight is the story of teenage Bella who falls in love with Edward, a 108-year-old vampire frozen at age 17. Edward and his family have chosen to not feed on humans, hunting only animals. Bella and Edward, throughout the series, are torn between their feelings for each other and the inevitable problems that arise from a human-vampire romance.

After reading all four books—Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn—I started to think back. What was I taking away from them? What do these books say about God, about life, and about love? In over 2,300 pages of reading, there's a lot to digest. What are the key ideas and attitudes in the Twilight saga? A few stood out to me as a Christian.

Love
Bella and Edward show us a type of romantic love that's powerful, passionate, and perfect. They are ready to sacrifice anything for each other. They always try to act in the other's best interest. They are thrilled to simply be in each other's presence. Their biggest conflict is whether or not Bella should become a vampire: She wants to spend eternity with Edward, but he doesn't want her to forfeit her humanity for him. Pretty different from the fights between most young couples.

Bella and Edward's relationship actually exemplifies a lot of what the Bible says love should be. Think about the Bible's description: "Love is patient, love is kind." (1 Corinthians 13:4); "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). Of course, no real couple can be this perfect all the time. But these passages, and stories like Bella and Edward's, remind us of the perfect love that God has for us. God intends for romantic love to reflect his deep desire for an intimate relationship with each of us. The Bible even calls us his bride! (Isaiah 62:5) While there may not be an Edward or Bella in our lives, God's love is a perfect love that never ends and never fails.

Temptation
Temptation provides a lot of the compelling tension in the Twilight world. The vampire in Edward is tempted by Bella's scent—it's all he can do to not devour her at first. And then as their relationship progresses, they face a different physical temptation: sex.

Yet the characters show an impressive mastery of temptation. Edward makes up his mind that he will not eat Bella, no matter how hungry he feels or how good she smells to him. He decides that something is more important than his hunger: Bella's life. And when Bella pressures Edward to have sex with her, he explains his belief that sex is for marriage, and it's important to him that they wait. Even though he wants her just as much as she does him, Edward decides that doing the right thing is more important than doing what feels good.

If you're like me, you face temptation about 100 times a day. It may be the temptation to lie, to cheat, to envy, or slack off when we should be working. Temptation affects everybody, even Jesus. The Bible describes how, after fasting for 40 days, Jesus was tempted by Satan in the wilderness. Satan tried to use food, power, and pride to cause Jesus to sin. Yet Jesus didn't sin, even though he was tempted.

How can we, in our day-to-day life, respond to temptation without sinning? Well, for starters, we take a cue from Jesus and, yes, even Edward.

First, think about Jesus' temptation and check out Matthew 4:1-11. Every time Satan presented a temptation to Jesus, Jesus responded by quoting Scripture. He knew the Scripture so well it overflowed from him, even when he was hungry, thirsty, and exhausted. God's Word gives us all the truth we need to detect Satan's lies and empty promises.

Second, set thoughtful boundaries to avoid temptation in the first place. In Twilight, Edward sets limits for himself. He takes temptation seriously. He knows actions have consequences and that if he gives himself one tiny inch, he could lose control. He recognizes, like Paul, that "nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out" (Romans 7:18, NIV). Because of that, Edward has to be very careful about what situations he puts himself in. When he wants to eat Bella, he doesn't let himself get too close to her. And when he wants to sleep with Bella, he doesn't let their physical relationship go past kissing. This is a decent example of the Christian life. He understands that sin is often a slippery slope. For us, this might mean setting boundaries for the types of movies we see, or the kind of conversations we participate in, or the way we interact with the opposite sex.

Spirituality
Some of my Christian friends are concerned about these books centering on "demonic" creatures. Aren't vampires evil? Shouldn't we stay away from anything Satanic? These are good questions, and it's so crucial to be careful about what we feed our minds.

As I read the Twilight books, I found that the vampires in these books don't fit the classic vampire mold. No protruding fangs, no coffins, and they're not repelled by garlic or crosses. They have no dark mission, demonic connection, or contact with the spiritual underworld. They aren't "spiritual beings," but are more like humans with a horrible contagious disease. The only thing "vampiric" about them is that they feed on blood—which of course is forbidden by the Bible. Other than their thirst for blood, these vampires operate very like human beings. They have free will. They can choose to do good or to do evil. Edward and his family choose to do good because they believe that even vampires are not exempt from ethical standards. Unlike most vampires, this clan doesn't feed on humans, but they do drink the blood of animals because they must to live. Edward's father, Carlisle, even believes that they have souls and an afterlife. To me, it seems the vampires in these books are not demonic at all, but are metaphors for the human experience. These vampires' darks sides represent the very real monsters inside each of us. They are fighting against the temptation to do evil, which is what we as humans have to do everyday.

Nevertheless, spirituality is certainly relevant to the reading of Twilight. After all, part of the allure of the Twilight series is that it is "other-worldly." It's a fantasy. Sorry ladies, but there aren't really gorgeous, shimmering, chivalrous vampires and werewolves out there waiting to complete your life and mine. Yet the idea of them is captivating. Why? Because we are, essentially, spiritual beings. We know this world is not all there is, and we long for more. But fantasies like Twilight can become a distraction to our faith when we allow them to become a replacement for what we should be "fantasizing" about—spending eternity in the presence of God.

Bella is a clear example of someone who has misplaced her affections in this way. In her whirlwind romance with Edward, she directs all her love and desire toward Edward. She is so single-minded that the she doesn't even blink at the thought of giving up her soul (which is what would happen if she became a vampire so that she could be with Edward forever). This should strike us Christians as seriously wrong. She is choosing romantic love over her soul? As Jesus said: "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" (Matthew 16:26, NIV) Now Jesus wasn't talking about becoming a vampire, but he was saying that our soul is the most important thing about us. Our soul, and our relationship with God, should be something we treasure and nurture, not willingly damage or discard for an earthly high.

One last spiritual note: The books don't have a great amount of God content (no major characters are believers), but the stories also don't discourage or deny God's existence. In fact, the characters live in a world—like that of most vampire fiction—where God is present. For instance, Carlisle, the respected leader of Edward's vampire family, mentions at one point that it wasn't his choice to become a vampire and lose his soul. For most vampires it isn't and so he hopes there's a way they can be saved and enjoy an afterlife.

Leaving Twilight
So, now that all four books are neatly lined up on my shelf, and I have left the world of Twilight, a couple questions remain. Was it worth it? Did my time reading this series profit me in anyway? It's a mixed bag. Was it entertaining? You betcha. I definitely got swept up in the heady romance of Bella and Edward. Was it encouraging and uplifting? Kinda. I saw good win out over evil, and was reminded of the power of love. Was it filled with a Christian worldview? Definitely not. The saga of Bella and Edward contains some elements that I know aren't part of the Christian life. When I weigh things presented as true in the books to the Truth of the Bible, they don't measure up. For instance, I cannot agree with Bella's attitudes towards spirituality or sex.

(As with all things, it's important to use discernment in choosing what you read. This series does contain scenes of kissing and references to married sex. It has some language and violence. And there is a pretty gory scene in the final book. If you do read Twilight, talk about it with your parent or youth leader.)

But on the whole, I believe there were some valuable lessons tucked in those 2,300 pages. Love. Sacrifice. Good triumphing over evil. Those are things that I, as a Christian, can appreciate.

Now What?
Some discussion/reflection questions from the Twilight saga.

The only two openly Christian characters in the books are Carlisle's father (a minister who led vampire hunts in the 16th century) and Angela Weber (Bella's classmate). How do these characters portray Christianity differently? Who is portrayed as being more Christ-like and in what way?

On p. 307 of Twilight, Edward says "You see, just because we've been dealt a certain hand … it doesn't mean that we can't choose to rise above … to try to retain whatever essential humanity we can." He is talking about his choice to not drink human blood. How could his words apply to the Christian life? What does he mean by "essential humanity"?

Edward expresses his belief that God created vampires alongside humans, in a predator/prey relationship. How do you react to this? Does this fit the character of the God that you know?

In New Moon, Edward explains he doesn't want to have sex with Bella because he doesn't want to ruin her chances of going to heaven. Is this a Christian perspective? Why or why not? What do you think of Bella's stance on sexuality?

Breaking Dawn, the fourth book, features an unplanned and dangerous pregnancy. Some characters advise abortion to protect the life of the mother, yet the mother chooses to deliver her child regardless of the cost to her own life. What did you think of this plot point? What did you think of the arguments for and against from various characters? Is such self-sacrifice biblical? Can you think of examples from the Bible when someone suffered for the sake of another? What is the Bible's take on this?

Many people have reacted negatively to Breaking Dawn because it positively portrays "teenagers" getting married and having a baby. Why do some feel this is a dangerous message? Do you feel it is inappropriate? How were you able to relate to such character developments?


Source:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/teens/special/web/twilight.html

Rebuke

How long was I gone?

A while.

No, actually a very long while.

I can't say I don't regret making time pass. I went over to different places I thought would be memorable, meaningful and peaceful. I tried not to run and start to walk. I tried hard to make my self happy, I was, but not that happy. I even tried to be irresponsible and I tried to be selfless, but I forgot what mattered most -- my part in the body of Christ. People are scared or somehow feel stupid when you talk about God, "Napaka-religious mo naman" "Praise the Lord!!!" they hurt, but honestly, I stand up for my faith -- but I was lacking in action.

The sweetest thing my friends ever thought of me was that I was a potential leader. I could be making disciples by now, but I wasn't. In the past I was searching for my life, I thought serving didn't matter - in church. I thought that what mattered most was my faith, by all means I tried to live my life simple, I was attending very seldom, I thought my existence and appearance in church was not so important. Not until my friend talked to me last night, she said what I've been doing was not so good. Literally, I've been very bad. :( I wasn't taking things seriously, I hated my self too much, I tried to search for something in me, well, I should've asked God somehow, and I should have search it in Him.

Beyond stupidity, I tried to be good, but service? I don't know. I thought I was doing well - I always thought I was - until last night. I guess not well enough.

A friendly rebuke, no, I'd take is a loving rebuke; I didn't thought I mattered. I was human, imperfect, too many flaws, faulty, but I never thought I was useless, I was waiting for that, for someone to talk me into that. Something that would irrevocably CHANGE MY OUTLOOK IN LIFE. A year and six months ago, I was active, but now I need to be recharged again. Sabi ko, "God may mga tao palang hindi ko akalaing ganito ka-concerned sa'kin," gusto ko nang umiyak kaya lang pinilit kong 'wag kahit nag-iinit na 'yung mga mata ko, "I never thought I seemed to be so important in their lives. I didn't thought I MATTERED TO THEM. I didn't thought of sharing my life with them. God I've been unfair to them, like I took them for granted talaga. And I was hurt knowing that I have eventually hurt them. Pero God mahal na mahal pala nila ako."

I'm not going to mention who our topic was. I don't want to hurt anyone. I'd rather hurt my self, blame my self, batter my self with shame than to hurt that person. I love that person -- too much. Now I'm in total regret of what decision I made -- I'm a coward.

Ang tanga ko, pinangunahan ko na naman si God. Nagmamagaling kasi ako e. Nakakaasar. I don't want to promise anymore. I don't want to hurt God anymore. I don't want to hurt my self anymore. I don't want to please anyone or myself. I want to please God. I don't want to think of what they say or think of me. I don't want to be selfish or stupid.

I love you Aleli and Iza. I miss you two -- so much.
Thank you for always praying for me and for loving me.

Bottom Line: I was not forgotten.